Pain

 

 

Pain. Why oh why can’t you just stop? Why do you not leave me alone, just for a single day? To live in light, and not this, excruciating, darkness.

 

Aching when I work out. Torment when I do not sleep well. Sting when I make love. Sorrow when I lost the woman I loved so much.

 

This life is too painful for me. But I will not stop fighting. I will not give up from this life’s red fruits. I will fight till the last moment.

 

Look at me now, old love. I am now addicted to suffering. Oh God, it is too late to see light again.

 

I hope, Jesus Christ, will forgive, my despair. I hope, when I die, all the agony will go away.

 

Oh, but this body I love so much. It is the only one that still gives me pleasure. But for how much longer? I do not know.

 

Pain has grown, so much power, in my soul. The strength of years of struggling. Years of philosophical thought under the ice.

 

I now know I can withstand any hardship. I have grown so strong, I am afraid of myself.

 

What is this new, dark force inside my mind? That is growing more and more powerful? How dangerous is it? Can I stop it for good? Will it devour me completely?

 

I must keep fighting. Harder and harder. Life is nothing but an endless battle.